Topic: Aging

Seven Tips for Boomers Turning 65

This year the oldest boomers are turning 65 years of age and more than 10,000 will become 65 every day for the next 19 years! Better go out and buy those "happy 65th birthday" cards now!

Turning 65 is an important milestone. At 16 you went down to the DMV to get a learner's permit. At 18 you signed up with the Selective Service. At 65 there are some important things to do, too.

This article from US News and World Report provides a helpful "to do" list for anyone turning 65 this year. For example, you want to:

• Sign up for Medicare within 7 months of your birthday.
• Develop a retirement spending strategy. (You are required to start spending down your 401(k) or IRA at age 70.5.) 
• Make yourself invaluable at work (And, perhaps, negotiate a new work schedule.)
• Make a plan for the next stage of your life. (Coming of Age's Explore Your Future can help.) 

 

Free Online Book from Coming of Age

Books that influence us, according to E.M. Forster, are those for which "we are ready and which have gone a little farther down our particular path than we have yet gone ourselves." If you are 50+, The Age for Change can be such a book.

Produced by the national office of Coming of Age and written by a team of published authors, The Age for Change explores the promise and challenges of life over 50. Its nine chapters explore topics such as adult children, work, loss, love and creating community. Sure to spark conversation, the book is ideal for book clubs, adult religious education groups or senior centers. You can also read it on your own and share your thoughts with others online.

Interested in using the book with your organization? Let us know. We may be able to help.

Aging On Film: Strangers in Good Company

"Strangers in Good Company" is a film about eight women, one young and seven elderly, who are stranded in the Canadian countryside when their bus breaks down on a scenic outing. As they await rescue, the women take shelter in an abandoned farmhouse, forage for food and slowly begin sharing their life stories.

While the situation is fictional, the women's sharing is very real. None of the them were professional actresses, they were encouraged to ad-lib their own dialogue and each played herself, not some made-up character.

We meet some unforgettable women in the film: a resourceful Mohawk Indian, a wise lesbian, a take-charge Catholic nun, and a joyous heart attack survivor.

"Watching this film," as one reviewer put it, "we are challenged to think about the stories of our own lives and our times in the country of the long-lived."

Rediscover Your Spouse!

When Al and Tipper Gore announced their divorce earlier this year after 40 years of marriage a new term was born - gray divorce. It appears that breaking up after 20 or more years in a long-term partnership or marriage is on the rise, particularly among boomers. And the most common reason, according to a recent survey, is no longer sharing common interests.  

Is gray divorce a natural consequence of our changing times or can we learn to avoid it? In a recent article in The Positive Aging Newsletter authors Kenneth and Mary Gergen suggest that rediscovering our partner or spouse is a positive aging skill we all need to cultivate and they offer the following suggestions on how to get started: 

• Seek out new contexts of relating: travel, sports, hiking, theater
• Explore new relational activities: massage, cooking, gardening,
• Expand personal hobbies to include the other: golf, bridge, fishing
• Re-explore the past together, with particular sensitivity to possible re-ignitions of old feelings of joy and togetherness
• Explore the activities you once liked to do together, but which were abandoned for lack of time
• Allow one’s partner time and space for individual development and exploration, the results of which can later be shared
• Be on the lookout for contexts in which you can pleasantly surprise the other. If readers would like to share their own skills of re-discovery we would be happy to pass them on in future issues of the newsletter.

Boomer Men Waking Up to the Value of Friendships

According to Lyndsay Green boomer men are increasingly coming to the realization that "I've got an issue and it's my issue. I've been neglecting friends and not making new ones." Author of "You Could Live a Long Time: Are You Ready", Green says that traditionally women have been seen as the "keepers of the friendship network" but now more and more boomer men are signing up with Facebook, attending class reunions or taking up new sports in order to connect with friends they have let slip by or to make new ones. It's a good thing, says Green, because boomers are moving into a period of "interdependency." "As we age," Green says, "we're going to have to abandon the pride that has been part of the boomer's strength - our determination to handle things ourselves, to be in charge and not rely on anyone else...we're going to need friends and they're going to need us." Read more here.

Food Fight - A Rite of Passage?

A rite of passage is a celebration to mark one's movement from one status to another. Confirmation, bar Mitzvah, a debutante ball and even fraternity hazing are all examples of rites of passage. While our culture provides rituals for celebrating our first coming of age there really is no ready-made rite to mark the passage into second or late adulthood. If you want to celebrate this time of life you are pretty much on your own.

In this article from Second Journey's Fall 2010 newsletter, author Joyce Oliver describes her celebration of coming of age - a food fight - inspired by the hit movie Hook and her own very tense family mealtimes growing up.

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Boomer Bob, Bogart and Bus at Buena Vista

If you didn't attend RSVP's very successful "Living A Well Seasoned Life" event at Buena Vista you missed meeting a truly remarkable person. Bob Votruba, the day's keynote speaker, spoke movingly about how he was shaken to the core by the tragedies of 9/11, Katrina and the Virginia Tech shootings. He decided that living life as usual was no longer an option. So he sold his business, his house and gave away most of his possessions. He then bought an old school bus off Craigslist and set out on a 10 year journey with his dog Bogart to encourage Americans, particularly young people, to commit one million acts of kindness during their lifetimes. Bob's three kids were supportive, but his friends thought he was crazy. It's not easy living in a 7' by 12' bus and showering where you can. But Bob's step of faith is already producing results. Thousands of young people have taken the pledge and downloaded certificates from his website. His hometown, Cleveland, will soon proclaim itself the "City of Kindness." And his kids are getting their own kindness buses.

Bob begins every day with this simple prayer: "may I use my heart, mouth and mind to spread only kindness today."

You can follow Bob on his tour and read this thoughts about visiting Delaware by clicking here. 

Finding a Balance between Dow and Tao

Ken Dychtwald, a trusted commentator on aging in America, says that the current economic crisis has been a much needed wake-up call. It has caused us to rethink the priority we give to Dow and Tao, the material and the spiritual. This new consciousness is causing us to readjust our retirement expectations and he sees five new rules emerging:

1. We should all expect to work a bit longer. Look for an encore career.

2. Relationship planning is just as important as financial planning. 

3. Keep learning and growing. The fountain of youth is more likely to be found at a community college than the health spa.

4. Start living within our means.

5. Live the next chapter of your life with purpose. It's not about "who has the most toys wins."

Read more by clicking here.

Holding On To Friendships As We Age

Did you know that social isolation is as hazardous to your health as high blood pressure, obesity and even smoking? In fact, being lonely has about the same impact on your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day!

Friendships are especially important to us as we age. But holding on to them through life's inevitable changes - retirement, relocation, divorce, remarriage, illness, etc. - can be a real challenge. In Seven Tips for Improving Boomer Relationships from ConsumerAffairs.com, "relationship coach" Jan Yager gives some helpful advice on staying connected through thick and thin.  

Boomers Discover the Fountain of Youth

Here's another tidbit from Del Webb's Boomer Survey. The average boomer feels 13 years younger than his/her real age. Have boomers discovered the legendary fountain of youth? Not really, but many credit their good fortune to participating in activities that "keep their minds sharp, their bodies strong and their social life robust." Those boomers feeling younger than their actual age participated in 2 or more of the following activities: 

1. Exercise regularly -- More than 55 percent work out regularly as a way to feel youthful.

2. Hit the books -- Nearly a third have gone or will go back to school.

3. Volunteer -- More than 60 percent are giving back to their communities by volunteering.

4. Still working -- More than 70 percent plan to work in "retirement" either part-time, full-time or in starting a new career.

5. Trying pickleball or Zumba -- Approximately 40 percent have taken up a new hobby or activity.