Transitioning to Retirement: Part 2, A Professional's Perspective

Transitioning to Retirement

Part 2 - A Professional Perspective

Part 1 of our Transitioning to Retirement series, published in the April issue of Inspiring Opportunities, described the pitfalls people often experience as they transition to retirement and offered tips for planning a happy retirement while you're still working.

In Part 2, we offer a professional's perspective on this transition, and what concerns she hears most often from her clients. Carolyn J. Gover is a life coach and psychotherapist with 34 years of experience in helping people-not just with retirement, but in all stages of life and with all types of issues. She lives in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware with her husband.

We identified the following categories that may affect those transitioning to retirement and asked Ms. Gover how often her clients bring up these issues and which are the most serious for them:

Economic (living on a reduced income and worries about how to make ends meet):

Ms. Gover said that this has been the number 1 concern among her clients, especially in the past two years since the economic crisis hit. Many people lost money in the stock market or in their IRA/401k and, while they may be emotionally ready to retire, they feel it is no longer an option financially due to this loss of resources.

Health (dealing with declining health in self/spouse/parent, onset of illnesses, etc.):

This area is second only to economic worries, says Ms. Gover. It is a time in our lives when major health issues rear their heads.  Further, as noted below, many Baby Boomers are caring for aging parents who may also be having substantial and often ongoing health and medical issues.

Emotional (loneliness, isolation, depression, anxiety, fear of aging or death):

Being alone is the worst, Ms. Gover reports, especially for those who have been with a spouse much of their life but lose them at or soon after retirement. The loneliness can be crushing. Ms. Gover tells her clients to get involved with something they love to help counteract this.

She reports that she still sees plenty of women who are financially and emotionally dependent on a spouse and, when they lose him, they are lost. She empowers them to see their value and helps them find a different way to be. Still, Ms. Gover says, when it comes to losing a spouse, women adapt faster to life without a spouse, whereas men often don't do well at all. She advises people in this situation to go to counseling, to help them see things from a different point of view.

She said those who have been single for a long time adapt faster to being retired since they are already used to living and/or being alone.

Intellectual (lack of intellectual stimulation through a task or through conversation):

This wasn't an area that Ms. Gover had heard much about from her clients. Then again, she said, some are choosing to not retire at all-either staying at their existing job or starting a new career doing something they love or always wanted to do. In fact, Ms. Gover herself noted that both she and her husband have decided to continue working because they both do work that they love.

Lifestyle (boredom, too much free time, loss of a feeling of accomplishment/success):

Ms. Gover felt that this was not as much of an issue as it used to be; perhaps because there are many more options now for ways to spend our time.

Family (taking care of an aging or dying parent or taking on care of grandchildren):

Certainly, in our aging society, many people approaching retirement are caring for an aging parent, and this can be a huge emotional (and sometimes financial) drain. Additionally, some retirees are being asked to take on daily care of their grandchildren as an alternative to expensive day care. If spending that extra time with your grandchildren sounds fantastic to you, that is great!  But Ms. Gover reports that some people aren't so excited about the prospect, and suggests honesty. "Tell your kids that their children are their responsibility and that you don't want to take on a full-time babysitting job," she advises, "Explain to them that this is your time to relax and enjoy life."

Tips to Prepare for Retirement

When asked what suggestions she had for someone planning to retire in order to make the transition with as little stress or difficulty as possible, Ms. Gover offered these tips:

• Imagine that you're already retired. What would you do if you were retired?  Where would you go? Play act it on the weekends when you're not working!
• As scary or strange as it may sound, if you are partnered, play act being without a partner. What would you do if you suddenly found yourself alone? Find ways to make this play-acting fun, though, so that it isn't a sad or stressful situation for you or your spouse.
• What have you always wanted to do? Make a list and start researching at least a few things on the list. The goal is to have a plan ready to set into motion once you're retired.

What's Next

In the final installment of our Transitioning to Retirement series, appearing in next month's issue, Coming of Age Delaware contributor Sheri Ackerman will discuss her own experience in going from a Type A "large and in charge" Federal Government Regulatory Officer to a happy retiree.

If you would like to contact Ms. Gover regarding her counseling or life coach services, she can be reached at 302-226-3661.